The Pain of Pressure Washing

Everyone knows when you get a new toy, you have to play with it for a while.

Such is the case with me and the new pressure washer I purchased a couple of days ago.  The first task I set to was cleaning the sidewalks in front of the church parsonage.  Don't know when the last time that task was undertaken, but it was obvious that years of grime had accumulated on those walks.  That grime wasn't coming off without some serious washing.

I didn't purchase the biggest pressure washer out there, but it does put out 2200 psi.  That's over 1 ton of pressure per square inch.  The instruction manual gave some pretty good advice regarding that amount of pressures--don't point that at anyone's skin.  It's liable to rip it off.  Well, they were a bit more tactful, but you get the point.

My kids loved playing outside while I was washing the sidewalks.  Numerous times when I have been outside watering, I will spray the kids with the water hose, much to their delight.  I think they expected me to do the same with the pressure hose as they kept coming tantalizing close to the stream.  Each time, I backed them off with words of warning. 

When one is pressure washing and the sound of the motor is running loud, you can't hear the birds or the breezes or much of anything, so you start thinking.  At least I do, and my thoughts raced to the theological spectrum.

I began thinking about my relationship with God.

I know I need cleansing.  I know there is a daily need for God to work on me so that His light can shine through me.  But the problem is, I am not a very good reflector.

The years have accumulated a bunch of grime on me.  Certain experiences have left me gun shy when it comes to some of the stuff I am called to do.  I'd rather not rock the boat when it comes to doing things that I know are right, but I also know will anger some folks.  Certain other experiences have emboldened me almost to the point I don't care what anyone else thinks, I'm just going to plug ahead.  Such an attitude is deadly in relationships as it conveys smugness, arrogance, and detachment.  Other experiences and thoughts have left a sheen of grime that I really don't want uncovered.  In churchy terms, I'd call them "secret sins." 

Oh, there are a host of other things I could talk about, but I'll leave it at that for now.  And suffice to say, these layers of grime don't reflect God's light very well.  They don't empower me to be a witness to His goodness and mercy.  Therefore, I need to be cleansed.  But it is a double edged sword.  These experiences are me.  Literally, they have helped make me the person I am.  Grime and all, this is me.  In order to be the person God wants me to be, there will have to be part of my grimy self that will have to be removed--and I'm not sure I like the thought of that.

It's going to take pressure washing to do it too.  Those stains are so embedded, so tough, no amount of light washing and delicacy is going to make a dent.  It will take rough handling.  And it's going to hurt.  Badly.

Facing my secrets.

Facing my fears.

Facing my anxieties.

Allowing God to take me and reconstruct me.

"Not my will, Lord, but thine be done."

I do take comfort in a couple of things:

1. God isn't going to try to accomplish the whole project in a matter of minutes.  He's going to take His time over my entire lifetime.  Some moments will be more painful than others, but He knows what I can handle and there will never be too much to bear.

2. Christ will always be there to bring His healing and compassionate touch to the process.  He will remind me of the pain He suffered and bore so that my pain would be minor in comparison.  As The Good Shepherd, Christ will tend to me as needed so the process will go as smoothly as possible.

3. The Holy Spirit will give me glimpses of the person God intends me to be.  He will be my Advocate and guide in the process helping to keep me focused on the end product.  I believe He will also give me strength to get through the most painful parts--the parts that I do not want to relinquish yet need to be let go in order for me to fit in the mold God has prepared.

One day, the project will be complete.  I only hope I shine forth His light and love and mercy as brightly as possible.