Adoption

⁵He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will, ⁶to the praise of his glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. --Ephesians 1:5-6

Today, my thoughts turn to something near and dear to me on a personal and professional level: adoption.

Five years ago, my wife and I received a phone call that turned our world topsy-turvy for the second time in less than two years.

16 months prior, we had adopted our first child from Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach in College Station.  We had a marvelous experience.  We waited for two years before being chosen for our first child, and in anticipation of another long wait, I had mentioned to the agency director we would be looking to get back on the list soon.

Five years ago this afternoon, I was visiting with one of my members who was overseeing a construction project being conducted by my congregation.  I had forgotten my cell phone back at home.  I looked up the dirt road which led to the site and saw what looked like our mini-van headed toward us.  A few moments later, my thoughts were confirmed as my wife and daughter pulled up.

My wife bounded out the door and asked, "Are you ready to have our life turned upside down?"

"What?" I asked.

My wife then filled me in on the details.  The adoption agency had called inquiring about a Mother's Day program they were putting on.  We had planned on attending, and my wife was planning on baking a cheesecake for the event.  The director of the agency, Kim, thought everything sounded very good, and then she said, "And by the way..."

My wife now says if a director of an adoption agency says such a thing, get ready for a bombshell.

Kim continued, "Kevin said you were looking to get back on the adoption list.  How soon is too soon?"

My wife, "Why do you have a birth mother looking to place?"

Kim, "No, I've got a baby."

Wife, "A baby?"

Kim, "Yep.  She was born today in a bathtub, and mom's looking to place.  She's a bi-racial little girl, and no other families at the agency will consider a bi-racial child at this time.  Since you already have one bi-racial child, and you were looking to get back on the list, can I show the birth mom your life book?"

Wife, "I need to talk to my husband."

In a surreal moment, I stood there overlooking the rolling hills around, and I went through a mental checklist very, very fast.  Finances were stable.  We wanted another child.  The child was bi-racial just like our first adoptee (a requirement that we decided upon).  The only hitch in the set-up was this wasn't according to my timing.  I wanted at least two years between kids.  But in this situation, my timing isn't the important part.  God's timing is.  I felt I needed to be open to His leading, so I said, "Let's call the agency.  We'll let the birth mom look at the book, and see where we go from there."

Phone calls were made, and we were informed they would take our book to the mother that evening.  We were told they would call us back after the book was considered.  I personally figured we were looking at the next morning before hearing anything.

In the meantime, I told my congregation member farewell.  My wife and I needed to do some talking and planning.  We started trying to get our heads around this whole ordeal.  We grabbed a bite to eat at a local Mexican food restaurant, and then stopped for a few groceries.  I had my cell phone by that time, and as I walked out of the grocery store I saw I had a message from APO. 

Shockingly, at least to me, the birth-mother had seen our book and wanted to meet us.  That evening.  We raced home, bathed our daughter, and headed to College Station where we met our daughter-to-be, Kaylee Grace.

Now, this process didn't go as smoothly as the first adoption because of circumstances out of our control.  But things eventually worked out for the better.  We have established great relationships with the birth-parents and take periodic trips to visit with them.  Kaylee is an absolute joy and is so beautiful it has her father concerned about those dating years.

But I wouldn't trade anything for it.  Not a chance.

Some wonder if you can love an adopted child as much as your own.

I can vouch--you can.  Easily. 

After adopting our two girls, my wife became pregnant.  That's another God story, by the way, but I can tell you that I love my two adopted girls just as much as I love my son.  They are my kids, and I would die for them without hesitation.  I will do everything I can to provide for them, protect them, and give them the tools they need to make their way through life. 

And because of this process, I somewhat get a better sense of all those adoption references in Scripture--all those texts like that Ephesians text about God adopting us as His children.  If God loves us as much as I love my kids, I understand why He suffered and died upon that cross for us.  I understand why He went the distance to show His love to us.  I understand why He seeks to guide us in our lives  and show us the way.  I understand why He wants to provide for us and care for us.

He's a Father.  That's what Father's do for their kids.

Adopted or otherwise.

They are your kids.

Period.