Bearing the Shame

Something shifted in our society during my lifetime.  I don’t know exactly how it happened.  I don’t know when the shift started, but I know it was as if a switch suddenly was thrown and many things that were once not considered acceptable became acceptable.  Things that were once taboo were now mainstream.  This shift has left many scratching their heads in bewilderment.

I remember my senior year in high school.  I lived in a small community surrounded by farms and ranches.  The only time it looked like it had snowed was during cotton harvesting season when the sides of the road were littered with errant strands of cotton that had escaped their modules while being transported to the gin; or those that had escaped the metal fingers on the cotton strippers.  Wide open spaces dominated along with the boredom that accompanies a rural, agricultural society.  The fact that kids snuck out and away from parents to engage in underage drinking was nothing new.  Neither was it new that kids would have romantic rendezvous.  These things have always been taking place as far as I can tell.  But, having four, five, or even six high school girls under the age of 18 walking around school pregnant–now that was unheard of.

And they literally had no shame.

None what-so-ever.

They wore their pregnancy as a badge of sorts, and if anyone raised any sort of moral objection, they were met with fierce attack.  “You can’t judge me!” they would scream.  Teen pregnancy had somehow become acceptable.

Perhaps the changes that began in the 1960's finally began reach a tipping point around this time.  For I remember the “Jerry Springer Show.”  How many of you are actually going to admit that you remember that show as well?  Remember how Jerry captivated his audiences by bringing in the most outrageous things that he could?  Remember how there would be questions during the show that said something like, “Did your uncle sleep with your girlfriend and your sister at the same time?  We want to have you on our show.”  Suddenly, aberrations like this went mainstream.  The non-acceptable was made acceptable because of the lure of money and 15 minutes on national television.  And when people actually showed up on this show–and had their fights, they were defiant as all get out.  They had a “you can’t judge me attitude.”  They had absolutely no shame.  None.  Nada.  And millions of people saw this.  They saw such behavior rewarded.  And it hasn’t stopped.

Even the porn industry isn’t shoved underground into seedy theaters and specialized places.  If you have access to a computer and the internet, this stuff is literally a few clicks away.  Even Playboy magazine has stopped having nude women in it.  Why?  There is no need for such a magazine.  People flaunt their naked bodies on the internet with reckless abandon.  And you know what is scary?  Do you know what is even worse?  So do teens under the age of 18.  Of course, they don’t post such photos on the internet because of legalities, but millions of kids with cell phones are snapping naked pictures of themselves and sending them to friends without any shame at all.  They don’t care.  And, for the most part, society turns a blind eye.  Society shouts from the roof tops, “Express yourself, and don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.  You have nothing to be ashamed of!!!”

Contrast this with what is happening in our lessons from this evening.  Each of these lessons, as different as they are, set forth a very real reality for both Mary and Joseph.  Both of these lessons, when seen in their societal context shout loudly and clearly that sometimes, when you follow the will of God, you will face shame and ridicule.

Luke shows us that following in the footsteps of God’s plan is no guarantee for the removal of shame.  In fact, in the case of Mary and Joseph, the acceptance of God’s will for their lives means a lifetime of shame heaped upon them by the rest of society.  How so? Let’s look at these two texts before us.  Don’t worry, I am not going to go through them with a great deal of detail because that would take far too long, but I am going to look at them to point out the common thread running through them.

First, please take note of the Lucan text where the angel Gabriel visits Mary.  Gabriel approaches Mary and says, “Greetings favored one!”  Technically, the word favored one should be translated a little differently.  It should be translated “graced” one.  This is why Roman Catholics say in the Rosary, “Hail Mary, full of grace!”  This mirrors exactly what Gabriel says to Mary here, and it is important.  The word carries the connotation of having received a special favor from a benefactor.  In this instance, that benefactor is God, the Lord, as Gabriel says.

Mary is in awe of these words. She is a peasant girl, probably in her teens.  She carries no special significance.  She has no special standing in the community.  She is not well known.  Yet, the angel says she has found special favor with the Lord.  Is it any wonder she is much perplexed and tries to think this through?  How in the world has she found favor with the Most High God?

Gabriel then lays it all out: ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. 32He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. 33He will reign over the house of Jacob for ever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.’  This is a highly significant statement and it deserves much explanation; however, we do not have time for a thorough break down tonight.  Let the words stand as they are said, plainly.

Mary responds again with a question, “How can this be since I am a virgin?”  Unlike her cousin Zechariah, this is not a question of doubt.  Zechariah said, “How will I know...?  Mary asked, “How can this be...?” the nature of the question is very different.  Mary is not doubting.  She wants to understand.

Gabriel continues, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. 36And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. 37For nothing will be impossible with God.”

Now, before we get to Mary’s final words, let me talk about the implications here.  Let me remind you that Mary was betrothed.  She was promised to be married, but she was not married yet.  If indeed she were to become pregnant, everyone around would think some very unholy thoughts about her.  Contrary to some who say that in this time people didn’t have all the understanding of how babies are conceived; folks knew exactly how it happened.  They didn’t understand about X and Y chromosomes, but they knew that sexual intercourse produced babies.  And they knew if you got pregnant outside of wedlock, you were engaging in something you weren’t supposed to be doing.  Unlike what happened during my final years of high school, shame was not only given, but it was felt: deeply and hurtfully.  The angel Gabriel has announced something great and wonderful, but it came with a cost: deep and utter shame.

And Mary says, “Let it be with me according to your word.”  She accepts this burden of shame.

Similarly, Joseph accepts the burden as well.  Whereas Luke tells us the story through Mary’s eyes.  Matthew tells us the story through Joseph’s eyes.  Joseph is also visited by an angel in his dreams.  But before that dream, Joseph knew that his betrothed had become pregnant.  He didn’t know the child was of the Holy Spirit because of what he had intended to do.  Joseph, being a righteous man, but also a compassionate man, was going to dismiss Mary and save her from shame.  He could have had her stoned–God’s Law afforded him that right.  But he didn’t want to have her killed.  He would send her away privately, and very few would be any the wiser.

However, the angel appeared to Joseph and rendered his plans worthless.    ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ 22All this took place to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23 ‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel’, which means, ‘God is with us.’

Again, this saying deserves much consideration, but again, because of time this morning, we will allow it to stand as plain as possible.  Therefore, let us also consider the consequences for Joseph if he were to follow this advice: Joseph too would have been put to shame.  For he would be marrying a woman who was unclean; unfaithful; a sinner.  Folks would whisper behind his back, “Does he know what kind of woman he is marrying?  Doesn’t he understand that she is sinful?  Doesn’t he know that God frowns upon such things?”  The gossip would fly through the village, and people would have long, long memories.  Shame would be a daily part of Joseph’s life.

And he accepts it.  He accepts the will of God even though it will cost him dearly.

Mary and Joseph will pay the price for doing God’s will.  They will be looked down upon. They will be whispered about.  They will lose honor and status in their community.  They will be shamed.  Society will reject them, and this is but a foretaste of what will happen to their Son.

For in Jesus we will see utter shame and rejection at its worst.  In Jesus, we will see a man–a man who is also God–rejected by the crowds.  He will be accused of blasphemy.  He will be accused of being a false Messiah.  He will be beaten, mocked, spat upon, and hung naked on a cross.  The public shame and rejection by man is intended to discredit Him and prove Him a phony–a liar.  But even this is small potatoes compared to the ultimate rejection Jesus faces on the cross.

For you see, not only is Jesus rejected by man, He is also rejected by God.  You may scratch your head in wonder at that statement, but let me assure you, it is true.  Because Jesus became the punishment for all sin.  Jesus became the sacrifice of atonement to pay for all sin ever committed.  Jesus bore the weight of that sin upon Himself even though He did not have to.  He lived the perfect life and did not deserve what He received.  So why did He receive it?  Why did He have to die?  Why did He cry out in forsakenness from the cross?

He did it because He could not bear the thought of losing us.  He did it because He couldn’t bear the thought of His creation spending eternity apart from its creator.  He did it to change our hearts away from our selfish; self-centered living and capture them with the love of God who is willing to die for us.  He did it because He loves us.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that all those who believe in Him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God sent the Son into the world not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.  Jesus endured shame and rejection to bring you close to God.

And isn’t it funny that in our culture today; if you stand up for the values of the sanctity of marriage, for sexual relations to be saved for marriage, for loving people who are vastly different than yourself, for daring to proclaim the exclusivity of Jesus, for daring to believe in Absolute Truth and that this Truth has been revealed in Jesus, then you are the one who is shamed?  It is small wonder though.  Just as following God’s will brought Mary shame, and Joseph shame, and Jesus ultimate shame; we should not be surprised if we are shamed as well.  May we have the courage to be shamed.  Amen.

Freedom Beckons

  

    Why do we tend to get stressed out around Christmas?

    I mean, I know that many of you who are here this evening know “the reason for the season.”  You know Christmas is about Jesus.  You know this is a time to proclaim peace on earth and goodwill to all.  You know the reason the angels proclaimed the message to the shepherds on the hillside long ago.  You know the reason the shepherds ran to Bethlehem to see these things which have taken place.  You know why Mary pondered these things in her heart.  You know all of this.  Many of you have heard this story year after year after year. 

    And even if this is one of your first times to hear this story, you have perhaps an inkling about what it is about.  You have an inkling about this Jesus character.  Christianity is the world’s largest religion after all.  You’ve probably heard a little something about Him.  And Christmas is the time when we celebrate His birth.  You probably know this fact about Christians–at the very least.  And you may wonder why it is many, many Christians become very worked up about this holiday.  You may wonder why Christians say with one breath, “Peace on earth!” and then complain about all the stuff they have to do to prepare for Christmas!

    There is a reason for this.  There is a reason that even though we know what this day is about, we still find ourselves stressed out and worried.  There is a reason that even though we know Christmas is about Jesus, we still wonder whether or not our relatives will appreciate the gifts we give them.  There is a reason that even though we know the main point of Christmas is to announce the birth of Jesus, we still get caught up in the frenzy and commercialization of this society.  There indeed is a reason, and it is one we do not like to hear.  No, we don’t like to hear it at all.

    We did not do it tonight because of the festive nature of Christmas Eve, but just about every other Sunday in this congregation, we begin our service with a confession.  We say publically and in unison, “We confess that we are in bondage to sin and cannot free ourselves.”   I told you, we don’t like to hear the reason.  We don’t like to think we are in bondage to anything.  We don’t like to think we are controlled by anything.  We like to think that we are free and in charge of our own lives.  We like to think that we do a pretty good job of being decent people.  Sure, we might make a few mistakes along the way, but mostly we don’t hurt anyone or anything.  Surely, I am not a sinner–I am not in bondage to sin; that cannot be!  I am free to make my own choices and my own decisions!  No one or no thing has a hold on me!

    Really? 

    If that is the case, then tomorrow, or tonight, when all the family is gathered together for your Christmas meal, make your plate and refuse to join them the rest of the day.  Lock yourself in your room and refuse to take part in the celebration going on around you.  Or, when you return to work, walk in and announce, “I am not going to do any work today!  I am free!  I can do what I want, and I choose to do no work today!”  Or, on the 26th of December, walk into the bank and walk behind the counter and take as much money as you want.  After all, you are free, remember?  You can choose to do whatever you want, remember?  No one has a hold on you or can tell you what to do!

    Do I have your attention yet?

    Why wouldn’t you do any of those things I just said?  Why wouldn’t you close yourself off from your family Christmas celebrations, or refuse to do your job at work, or take money from a bank?  Why would you refuse to do such things?  Well, you probably know the consequences.  You know that if you did such things, you would end up in a heap of trouble–either from your family, from your boss, or from law enforcement.  You wouldn’t do any of these things because you would be adversely affected–having to sleep in the dog house, losing your job, or ending up in jail.  And who of us wants to face those consequences?  Do any of you want to end up on the receiving end of your family’s wrath; your bosses anger; or in incarceration?  No.  I didn’t think so.  None of us want to end up in those positions.

    Now, here’s the question: why?  Why don’t we want to end up in those positions?  What is our reason for avoiding such situations? 

    Well, obviously, most of us don’t like making our family members angry.  We don’t want to deal with their ire at us.

    We obviously don’t want to tick off our bosses and end up unemployed.

    And we don’t want to end up with a criminal record. 

    In each of these cases, the consequences reflect very poorly on us.  And we don’t do such things because it hurts us.  Think about this for just a second.  Our motivation for avoiding such things is to save ourselves from any sort of grief, trouble, or danger.  Our motivation for avoiding such things is pure, self-interest.

    Which is why even though we know what Christmas is supposed to be all about, we still get stressed out and upset.  There is still a very deep seeded part of us that wants to avoid people getting angry and upset with us.  There is a very deep seeded part of us that wants everyone to be happy with us and embrace us.  There is still a very deep seeded part of us that wants to wow our spouses and our kids and our grandkids and our nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles so that they will like us and love us and not be angry or disappointed with us.  And so we run all over the place going to Christmas programs and buying presents and baking cookies and making dinners and decorating to the nth degree–all to make sure we look good and are admired by others. 

    And when we are trying our best to impress others; to maintain our image; to keep them happy with us, are we truly free?  No.  None of us are.  We are constantly having to look out for our own interests.  We are constantly having to preserve ourselves.  It’s almost a requirement because of the way the world works and operates.  We cannot escape looking out for ourselves at some point and time.  We just can’t.

    And one of the classic definitions of sin is to turn inward toward one’s self–to act in one’s self interest–to consider how things reflect upon one’s self and one’s identity.  Sin is looking out for me, and not doing things strictly for the benefit of another person–and certainly not doing things for God’s benefit. 

    So, if we are forced to look out for ourselves and act with self preservation in mind, then we are focused on ourselves.  If we are focused on ourselves, we are not focused on serving others, and we are not focused on serving God.  We become the center of our own lives, and we live those lives out trying to please everyone else. We are not only in bondage to everyone else, we are also in bondage to our own self-interest!

    And how can we escape this reality?  How can we get out of this?  Is it possible?  Is it possible to cast aside self-preservation?  Is it possible to escape trying to please everyone? 

    Let me ask you this: have you ever met someone in life who loves you no matter what you do?  Have you ever met someone who will continue to interact with you and be with you even when you are at your worst?  Have you ever met someone who will patiently sit through your outbursts of anger; endure your yelling and screaming; hug you when you are in a state of anger and frustration; stay by you when you are even trying to push them away?  Have you ever met someone who shows you such love and compassion when you do not deserve it?  Has a love like this entered into your life and melted your heart so that you do not feel like you have to walk on egg shells around them?  Have you ever been with such a person where you can feel almost totally and completely like yourself? 

    And have you ever felt yourself saying, “I want to be a part of this person’s life.  I want to do things for them, not because I have to, not because I know it will make them love me more–for they already love me–I want to do these things because I know it pleases them.  I know it brings joy to their life.” 

    I will submit to you, that when you did such things, then you escaped the cycle of self-preservation, not because of your action, but because you have experienced a deep, deep sense of love–a love that has caused you to want to be the best that you can be, not for your own sake, but for the sake of the other.  In a very real way, then you have experienced a taste of freedom.

    Now, imagine if you could have that kind of love infect your entire life and entire being.  Imagine you could have that kind of love overwhelm each and every relationship you are a part of.  Imagine that kind of love played out to the point where you became the type of person who actually showed that love to others.  Can you imagine how life changing it could be?  Could you imagine how it could change the world? 

    But it all starts with being loved by someone outside of one’s self.  It all starts with being loved when we were unlovable.  It all starts with someone seeing us at our worst and still giving us their best.  Freedom only beckons when we receive such love.

    2 The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness—on them light has shined.  4 For the yoke of their burden, and the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian.  5 For all the boots of the tramping warriors and all the garments rolled in blood  shall be burned as fuel for the fire.  6 For a child has been born for us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulders; and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. -- Isaiah 9:2, 47

    ‘Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: 11to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord. 12This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.’ 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, 14 ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors!’  --Luke 2:11-14

    For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that all those who believe in Him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God sent the Son into the world not to condemn the world, but that the world may be saved through Him. --John 3:16-17

    My brothers and sisters, tonight we remember the God who loved us with that kind of love.  We remember the God who, when we were unlovable sent His Son to love us deeply enough to die for us.  We remember the God who breaks our shackles and saves us from ourselves that we do not need to live trying to save our selves and act with self preservation, but we can freely love and do for others as He has done for us. Merry Christmas.  Amen.

The "War" on Christmas

There's always a news story or two about the war on Christmas.

• A nativity scene is forced off a public place because of a lawsuit.
• Store employees forced to say "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas.
• Someone stealing baby Jesus from a church nativity scene.
• Children not being allowed to wear red and greed or holiday attire at school.

It's pretty inventive what the news media will do to promote anger, fear, and aggression during a time dedicated to peace on earth.

Oh, I know there are those who are truly concerned that Christian values are under attack, and that we should fight back with all of our might.  But I would like to submit to you that the real war against Christmas has been going on a long, long time, and the things we see now are simply logical manifestations of what many in our nation have allowed Christmas to become.

For instance, I believe we started losing the war on Christmas when the day became more focused on getting the perfect gift (for the one's you love) instead of celebrating the receiving of the gift of Jesus.

I believe we started losing the war on Christmas when the day became more focused on generating the perfect setting with the perfect family atmosphere, with the perfectly prepared meal (works/righteousness) instead of simply celebrating what God has done for us in the midst of family and friends--no matter what the external things might be (grace).

I believe we started losing the war on Christmas when many bought into the idea that one should not have any space left under the tree because the presents had take up all the room, instead of the idea that quality instead of quantity is important.

I believe we started losing the war on Christmas when we became more worried about whether or not someone would like the gift we gave them instead of simply enjoying the ability to give.

I believe we started losing the war on Christmas when we became more interested in what kind of things we could buy for cheap and what kind of sales were going to take place instead of taking an interest in the free gift of grace initiated by God's intervention in the world through Jesus.

Indeed, in many cases, Christians have led the charge (and charged a hell of a lot) to "make Christmas special" by decorating, and baking, and shopping, and running around, and wrapping, and worrying and fretting, and what have you.  We have failed to realize that Christmas is special in and of itself--regardless of gifts, and meals, and cards, and wrappings, and decorations, and what have you.

Dr. Seuss tried to make that point in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."  You can't steal it.  It's an impossibility.  Yet, in our efforts to make it absolutely special and overwhelming and the "best Christmas ever," we've managed to steal much of the joy out of it.

And I have become more and more convinced, winning the war on Christmas does not mean fighting to have nativity scenes placed in public places; or allowing Christmas carols sung in school programs; or convincing people to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays."  I am convinced, the war on Christmas can only be won by a change in our hearts--a monumental shift in focus--from what I have to do to what God has done, is doing, and will do.   If we, as Christians, set our hearts on this, then we have no worries or concerns about what is going on with schools or stores or in public places; for we carry the joy of Christmas within us as we remember the babe who lay in a manger also lives in our hearts.

Getting Rid of Santa and that Cheeky Little Elf on the Shelf

Don't get me wrong.  I still play the game with my children.  I do it because they have fun with it, but more and more I am ready to chunk the whole Santa Claus get up as well as that Elf on the Shelf thing.  Not because it isn't fun playing with such things but because of the implicit message being sent to kids.

I know I risk being labeled a fuddy-duddy or theological purist because of this post, but please think about what we are conveying to kids through these things, and then think about what Jesus proclaims to us--and the real meaning of Christmas.

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

He's making a list.
He's checking it twice.
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

He sees you when you're sleeping.  He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good, for goodness sake!

So goes the Christmas song.  And what is this song teaching?

Be good or else you won't be getting any presents.  It's reinforced by those of us who are well intentioned parents who say, "If you aren't good, Santa's going to be bringing you a lump of coal."

That Elf on the Shelf reinforces this thought process.

Sure, it's fun to put that little guy all over the house in different and varying poses.  I personally enjoy my kids getting out of bed and searching around the house until they find the guy doing whatever he is doing on a particular morning.  It's all in good fun--for the most part.

But again, the implicit message of the elf, "He's watching you all day, and at night, he reports to Santa about the things you've been doing today."  If you aren't being good, the elf will tell Santa, and you won't get any good gifts.

The modern Santa and Elf on the Shelf are perfect examples of works/righteousness, theology of glory thinking.  If I am good...  If I am doing the right things...  If I follow the law just perfectly.... then I will get goodies in the end.  Whether we like it or not, this is the message we are sending to our kids which is a far cry from the reality of Christmas.

Christmas is about grace--unmerited, undeserved grace.  Period.

Christmas is about God's plan of reconciling the world unto Himself by taking on flesh and dwelling among us.

Christmas is about the babe in the manger who would one day hang on the cross taking our sin, our shame, our suffering, our frailty, our death with Him and putting such things to death that we might live.

Christmas is about remembering the One who does such a thing all the while praying for His enemies, blessing those who persecuted Him, and saying, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

Christmas is about the One who died for us even though we weren't being good and gave us the gift of eternal life despite our refusal to live our lives for God and for our neighbor.

You cannot draw a deeper contrast between the incarnation of Santa Claus in the U.S. along with his partner Mr. Elf on the Shelf and the Lord of lords and King of kings who became Emanuel--God with us.

I will play this little game for a few more years because my kids enjoy it, but I'll be doing just a little extra work to let them know what grace really is as well.  For in the long run it makes quite a difference as illustrated by the following two sentences differentiated by one simple mark:

So be good, for goodness sake.

So be good for goodness' sake.

One of these is works/righteousness.

One of these is responding to grace.

One is Christian.  One is not.

Want to keep Christ in Christmas?

Teach and live grace.