Getting Lectured

I got lectured yesterday.

It wasn't a horrible tongue lashing, that's for certain.  It was one of the kindest rebukes and lectures that I have ever received.

As I was preparing for a funeral I performed yesterday, I walked over to the sanctuary.  I was met by one of the "little old ladies" of the church.  (I hope she grins as that one when she reads it!)  She informed me that after reading my newsletter article this past month, she was going to march herself over to my office and give me a lecture.  However, my appearance in the sanctuary that morning where she was also working removed the need for that.  She knew God provided this opportunity for her to have a few words with her pastor.

Stop worrying was the gist of her words to me.

The devil is working on you causing doubt and frustration.  Don't let him win.

God has a plan for you, and it is good.  We love you, don't forget that.

All of these words hit.  And hit hard.

They were delivered gently, in quite the spirit of love and compassion and kindness.  All the more reason to heed them.

As she spoke, I realized just how true they were, and I realized where some of my worry, my fear, and my anxiety is coming from.

The congregation I serve has grown and is growing.  It is getting to that point I cannot manage it all and be on top of everything.  I cannot be everywhere and do everything that needs to be done.  Even though I am pulled in numerous directions all at once, I simply can't accomplish everything that needs to be accomplished.  And I'm worried about what people will think.

You see, there is a trade off as a church grows.  When it is small, a pastor can be there for everyone.  He or she can visit all the sick and shut in with amazing regularity.  He or she can be there at every hospital visit, every crisis, every celebration, and every event in the life of the church.  There is an amazing sense of connection that takes place. 

But when growth comes, such a thing is no longer possible.  Several events conflict.  Weddings conflict with graduation parties.  Women's meetings conflict with Kindergarten graduation.  Visiting sick and shut ins conflict with preparing Bible Studies and Youth Retreats.  And the list goes on. 

Much of this is far beyond my control, but I am faced with the difficult choice of discerning which events and things become priority.  Most of the time, the choice is pretty easy, but...

Someone is going to get disappointed.  The pastor wasn't there.  How come he wasn't there when I asked him to be?  Doesn't he care about me and what is going on in my life? 

Of course, I do.  And I really don't want to disappoint my congregation members, but I know I can't kill myself to be there for everything.  I've got to be a good father for my children.  I've got to be a good husband to my wife.  I want to be the best possible pastor, but I can't split myself in two.  Neither can I clone myself.

Stop worrying.  Do what you can.  Folks will have to understand.  We love you.

She's right, you know.  She's absolutely right.  The devil is in the details, and he's working to erode my confidence.  He's working to diminish my effectiveness as a pastor and a preacher.  He's working to undermine where the congregation is headed and trying to throw a stumbling block in front of me.

I needed that lecture. 

And...(and this is the hard part) I need to put her words into action.

That might be the hard part, but I think I know this lady pretty well.  If I start slipping, she'll lecture me again and again and again until it finally sinks in.

I hope it doesn't take too long.