A Deep Struggle

9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: ¹⁰‘Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax-collector. ¹¹The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax-collector. ¹²I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” ¹³But the tax-collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” ¹⁴I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.’  Luke 18:9-14

It is a deep struggle to live by grace.  A deep struggle.

As I move through this Holy Week, several things are on my mind, and they have weighed heavily:

1. I received a phone call from a local nursing home.  The activity director was, as kindly as she could possibly do it, ask me to give up part of my afternoon on Easter to lead a worship service for the residents.  Another congregation scheduled to lead worship canceled on her.  "I know it's short notice, but..." 

"I will do it," I responded.

This is not the first Easter this has happened.  Once before this same congregation had canceled on this same nursing home.  The last time it happened, I was asked again.  I remember the occasion vividly as I was lovingly and gently reminded of my calling.

You see, I was quite angry last go round.  I was quite angry that the other congregation canceled.  I was quite angry about giving up my time.  I was quite upset that I felt obligated to go and preach.  There was quite a bit of righteous indignation on my part.  My heart was not exactly in the right spot because it was all about me.

And then one of my congregation members came up to me to visit.  I told her about my impending afternoon.  She smiled at me, and she said, "Someone needs to tell those people the good news, especially on Easter."

I was floored at that moment.  I won't say that my anger completely left or that I proclaimed the Good News of Jesus' resurrection out of a joyful heart that afternoon, but I did (and do) realize the Absolute Truth of my congregation member's words.  "Someone needs to tell those people the good news, especially on Easter."  Especially since many cannot get to church.  Especially since many have indeed spent their lives worshiping.  Especially since many of their families cannot bring them to worship.  They need to hear the Gospel!  They need to hear that Christ is risen!

There was no hesitation this year when I was asked.  "They need to hear the Good News.  I will do it."  I am looking forward to it, this time with joy.

But there is still a smidgen or more of anger toward that other congregation.  There is still a bit of righteous indignation.  Am I like that Pharisee pounding his chest and saying, "Thank God I am not like that tax collector."?  Perhaps I am, and it is not good.  Not good in the least.  For I have no room to boast like that.  I have no room to think that I am doing better or my congregation is doing better.  I am not.  We are not.  It's hard not to get angry.  It's hard not to be in contempt.  It's hard not to be self-righteous.  This morning on my walk, I asked God for forgiveness, for I sorely need it.

2. A friend posted a link on Facebook to a prominent blog by Mark Sandlin.  Without going into all the details, I will let you know that I disagree most vehemently with Mr. Sandlin.  It's not the first time. 

But I was and am very curious about how well the theology Mr. Sandlin promotes is accepted in my own denomination and in my own synod.  I asked for feedback on our syond's Facebook page.  The commentary was intriguing as I found a great many of my colleagues wrestling with the idea of why Jesus had to die on the cross. 

I am a proponent of the sacrificial atonement understanding of the crucifixion/resurrection.  This understanding of the cross permeates through the New Testament writings. 

It is Matthean.
It is Markan.
It is Johannine.
It is Pauline.
It is deeply ingrained in the book of Hebrews.
It is Petrine.

The idea of Jesus' atoning sacrifice on the cross seems, in a very real way, to tie all of the biblical witness together.  From Genesis 1 to Revelation 21, the entirety can be understood with extreme clarity by looking through the lens of the cross: that Jesus lived the life we should have lived, that He died the death that we deserved; He placed his perfect righteousness upon us that we may stand before God as accepted failures--blameless though we have sinned.  This is the reason we are justified by grace through faith in Christ Jesus.  Many of us who are Protestant can recite that particular verse from memory.  Yet, what follows?  What did Paul add right away?  These words: ²⁵whom God put forward as a sacrifice of atonement by his blood, effective through faith. (Romans 3:25).

As I wrestled with Sandlin's article and the responses given by my colleagues, my heart ached.  For it seemed as if we lost the centrality of that which gave us our core identity as a church--the Theology of the Cross; God's great act of salvation.  And once again, the wellspring of contempt and anger began to rise.  The wellspring of self-righteousness that "I've got it and you don't" began rearing its ugly head.

Ah, but I have no room to boast.  For I have spent the bulk of my ordained ministry failing to proclaim the Gospel.  I have spent the bulk of my ordained ministry failing to point to Jesus.  I have spent the bulk of my ordained ministry thinking Christianity was mainly about me and my actions and the actions of those who call themselves Christian instead of mainly about Jesus and His actions.  I am one, like Paul, untimely born.  I do not deserve to wear the collar or the stole.  How can I be contemptuous?  Because my heart isn't there yet.  My heart still has the Old Adam trying to pull it away from Jesus.  I asked for even more forgiveness.

For grace does not allow contempt.  Grace does not allow self-righteousness.  Grace shows definitively and demonstratively that all have sinned.  All have no right to claim moral superiority.  All have missed the mark.  All have corrupted and warped hearts.  No one is exempt.  Even those who proclaim the Gospel and know the Gospel and have a relationship with Jesus.  This is why we need a Savior.

This is why Jesus had to die.  We cannot escape being in bondage to our sin.  Someone has to free us.  Someone has to make things right.

Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Jesus Christ.

In one way, it makes things so much easier.  I do not have to worry about justifying myself.  I do not have to worry about fulfilling the Law.  But it also makes things much harder--it means I must love those who are different from me in understanding and practice.  It means I must look at them as accepted failures as I am an accepted failure.  It means I cannot be contemptuous or self-righteous even if I believe I am right.  Indeed, it is a deep struggle.

Have mercy upon me, O Lord, a sinner!

Amen.

The Importance of Shared Context

Monday night, I sent my youth director a text.  "Missing you...," it said.

My youth director sent me a text back, "Are you texting the right person?"

She informed me that she believed I had really messed up.  She wondered just how it was possible for me to have sent such a thing to her.  Obviously, this sort of text was meant for my wife.  How could I possibly get the names totally and completely confused--my wife's name starts with D.  My youth director's with C.

I responded, "Yes.  Sitting around council missing my youth director."

I won't print her response here, but she did inform me she was on her way.

She had a rough day and had forgotten that we had council meeting.  Being the farthest thing from her mind, my initial text had caught her off guard.  It seemed strange, indeed, misplaced.  However, with a shared context, the meaning became very, very clear.  It was not misplaced.  It was not inappropriate.  It was the right words to the right person.

Too often, such misunderstandings govern our relationships with others.  Too often, the lack of a shared contextual understanding lead to all sorts of problems and arguments.  Fortunately, my youth director was willing to respond and ask.  Once we had a common ground of understanding one another, all became clear.

Unfortunately, many do not take the time to seek shared contextual understanding.  Many base their positions and understandings of another and that other's commentary solely on their own experience and contextual background.  This oftentimes leads to major conflict.

And it's not enough just to tell everyone, "You need to get a larger perspective on life.  You need to travel the world more and come in contact with others.  You need to get an education and have your mind broadened."

Why do I say this is not enough?

For the simple reason that I have come across more than a few souls who have a larger perspective on life; they have traveled the world; they have an education, and they are extremely contemptuous toward those who do not have that experience.  More than a few with such a broad perspective call those without such experiences, "narrow minded", "ignorant", and "myopic."  But in their name calling, are they not disregarding the experiences of others, no matter how small those experiences might be?  Of course they are.  They are projecting their own experience upon another even though it is broader.

Which leads me to ask: what then is the problem and is there a solution?

I think the problem is a very old one: self-centeredness.  It's the idea that my experience, my thought, my view of reality is the only one that counts.  It's the only one that is True.  It's the only one that reveals the reality of the way the world really works.

Postmodern thinkers point to this and say, "Therefore, there is no objective reality.  We are all governed by our perspectives.  No one perspective can contain reality and is always warped."

There is something to be said about the second two conclusions, but not the first.  The fact that each person has a different perspective on reality does not mean there is no objective reality.  For if there is no objective reality, then we cannot call things "right" and "wrong."  We cannot call someone "selfish" or "narrow minded" or "ignorant" or "myopic."  You have no basis to judge, and in the end, the only thing that makes something "right" is whether or not the surrounding culture considers it "right."  This is not a good path to be on.

And very, very few people actually walk it--at least with consistency.  Very, very few people walk a path of relativism.  The vast majority of people live as though there are objective truths in the world and that we can know them.  The vast majority of people believe and try to practice the concepts of justice and fairness.  They believe and practice the idea there is a right and a wrong thing to do.

But if this is the case, then why can't we seem to get along better?  Why can't we seem to bring about peace?  And justice?  And harmony?

We are too self-centered.  We tend to be more than happy to work for justice as long as we don't have to give anything up.  We are more than happy to work for fairness as long as it doesn't affect what I have.  We are more than happy to call for society to change as long as it is the other person who is changing and not myself.  My context is still the right one--after all.

And we are right back to where we began.

So, how does one break out of the contextual shell without giving up on the idea of Truth?  How does one welcome the opportunity to learn about another's context and become closer to the Truth?

I would make my case here for the Gospel.  For the Christian Gospel says that you are a broken individual.  You are self-centered.  You are myopic.  You think the world should bow down to your experience.  You would like to be God.

This is not something to be celebrated, by the way.  The consequences of someone believing this about himself is not good.  Such a person does not play well with others.  :-)

The Gospel confronts this attitude and calls it sin.  It calls it rebellion against God.  It calls this attitude a failure.  You are a failure.  Sometimes, it takes people a while to become convinced of this, but there is much more evidence that could be provided.  Once you realize you are a failure, it devastates you.  It brings you low.

And if you stopped here, you might become a bit depressed.

However, the Gospel tells you that in the midst of your failure, Jesus died on your behalf.  He lived as you should live, and He died the death you deserved.  Someone who is willing to die for you shows you that you are worth something.

You are a failure, but you are accepted.

This, theoretically, brings you to a place of humility--not too high; not too low.  Not feeling self-important, but neither depressed.  Not thinking you are perfect or your context is all important, but acknowledging it is limited and that others have such limited perspectives--and that one can grow by interacting with others; including those we perceive as "ignorant", "myopic", and "narrow minded."  For we realize we are narrow minded, ignorant, and myopic as well.  We don't share their experience, and when we interact, we expand our experiences and have a shared context.  And, of course, when we have a shared context and a shared understanding, we have much better odds of understanding one another and living together in harmony.

The Gospel may not be the only way one arrives at this conclusion; however, I am convinced it gives us the best ground and foundation for doing this.

Having a God Complex

On a message board frequented by yours truly, I was accused a couple of times (by the same poster) of having a "God complex."

It would be easy to vociferously deny such a charge.  I think most of us readily would.  But, instead of denial, perhaps it might be worthwhile to think such a charge through.

First, let's ask: what is a "God complex?"

Googling the term brings up some interesting definitions.  Apparently, there is no one settled definition:

This website defines it as Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited.

The FreeDictionary:  A popular term for a personality flaw commonly seen in physicians, especially surgeons, who perceive themselves as omniscient—i.e., God-like—and thus treat others as mere mortals.

Definitions: God complex--A god complex is an unshakable belief characterized by consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. A person with a god complex may refuse to admit the possibility of error or failure, even in the face of complex or intractable problems or difficult or impossible tasks, or may regard personal opinions as unquestionably correct. The individual may disregard the rules of society and require special consideration or privileges. God complex is not a clinical term or diagnosable disorder, and does not appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The first person to use the term god-complex was Ernest Jones His description, at least in the contents page of Essays in Applied Psycho-Analysis describe the God Complex as belief that one is a god

Wikipedia cites the Definitions.net definition.

It's intriguing to think about these definitions and perhaps put them together in some sort of fashion.  I will do this to formulate my own definition of a "God complex."

Definition: An unshakable belief that one knows how the world operates and should operate, and that others who do not share the same thoughts are unintelligent, ignorant, and contemptible.

How's that for a working definition?  If you do not agree with this definition, then the rest of this post probably will not make much sense.  I invite you to offer your own definitions in the comments section.

For those of you still reading, I now invite you to ponder the accusation as I will.  Do I have a "God complex?"  Do I believe that I know everything and how everything should work.  Do I hold others in contempt when they do not share my view of the world?

Immediately, most of us, including myself respond, "Absolutely not!  I do not know everything.  I profess my ignorance!"

(Yet, do you say this because deep down you know this to be true, or do you say this because you know it is the right answer that one must speak in public?)

Despite my initial rebuke of the accusation, I must also give myself pause.  For do I not oftentimes believe I have the answer to what ails the world?  Do I not believe I have the correct interpretation of data?  Do I not believe if everyone else simply did as I did and thought as I thought, then the world would be a better place to live?

Be honest with yourself.  Brutally honest.

How many of us are guilty of doing exactly these things?  How many of us would like to write a prescription for the world and have it followed to a tee?  How many of us become angry or upset when others refuse to consider our prescription or point of view?

No one that I know escapes doing this.  No one.  

Do I have a "God complex?"  I most certainly do.  I would argue every one of us does, and our self-righteousness is deadly to our relationships, to our society, to the world.

The Christian view of humanity starts with the notion that each and every one of us are trapped by this innate selfishness--this innate desire to be God ourselves.

It was not the action of eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden which was the Original Sin.  Rather, it was the desire to be "like God," and not in a good kind of way.  Being "like God" in our ability to love unconditionally, forgive when spit upon, be creative, and so on is a good thing.  But wanting to be "like God" and function as the be all and end all is not.  It is the latter which gets us into mounds of trouble and has gotten us in trouble for generation after generation after generation.

But is there a way out of such behavior?  Is there a way for us to escape our "God complexes?"

Not if you aren't willing to see that you have one.  Not if you aren't willing to see that you try to place yourself as God and tell everyone what to do.  Not if you aren't willing to acknowledge that you at some level believe you know what is best and believe everyone else should be just like you.

Only when you are willing to acknowledge this and believe that it is wrongheaded--and that you are broken in this selfish desire are you ready to hear the message of grace.

And that is another lengthy post.