Yesterday, as I was hovering over my Samsung Tablet playing a game, my son asked, "Dad, are you addicted to that game?"
Without hesitation, I said, "Yes."
I've always had a weakness for video games. I longed to play Pac-Man when arcade games were the rage. I always hoped my folks would graciously give me a quarter to satisfy my longing. I had fun, but I was no gamer. I never was able to figure out the patterns or any such things. But I still loved to play.
And then, my folks got an Atari. Oh my. That was fun.
Gaming has come very far in the 20+ years since I started playing, and now, with cell phone technology, we have games at our fingertips. Throughout the years, I've found myself addicted to several games--several of which I still would love to go back and play.
My latest addiction is a game called Empire and Puzzles. It's part strategy; part puzzle (think Bejeweled with a twist); part frustrating because the odds of getting where you would like to go are terribly high (designed that way I am sure by the programmers to ensure that you will spend a lot of money to progress through the game faster). It's actually tailor made for me--especially that last part which feeds into my stubbornness to win at the game without paying money. Yes, I've spent hours of free time playing this game.
"Because, you are on that game every morning and every night."
Leave it to my youngest to point out the obvious. And he's right.
"Can you give up the game for a day? I dare you to give it up tomorrow."
Little turkey. Challenge accepted, but I'm no patsy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My son shares in such addictions too.
"I'll give up the game tomorrow if you give up YouTube tomorrow."
Got him. But my son, like me, will take a challenge. "Deal!" We shook on it.
I could have rejected his challenge. As the adult and as the parent, it's my prerogative. I could have just told the kid, "Nope, I enjoy the game, and I'm going to keep playing it."
But I want to teach my kids something. (Don't think for a moment that my girls aren't tuning in to this little deal.) For, it is my belief that we are all addicted to something. I believe each and every person has some sort of addiction, and in my own lifetime, I have been addicted to numerous things:
success, video games, athletics, academics, the need for acceptance by peers, the desire for sex, affirmation from the opposite sex, the desire for success in my profession, the desire to be right, wealth, status, Facebook, blogging, etc.
As one addiction would pass, another one would take its place. I don't think there has been a time when I wasn't addicted to something.
But I have often asked myself the questions: does your addiction have mastery over you? Are you controlled by your addiction? I hope to never answer in the affirmative.
Which is why I readily accepted my son's challenge. It's personal: to ensure that this game does not have mastery over me. It's relational: to teach my children to have mastery over their own addictions as well.
I know that we live in a society which tells us to indulge our desires. I know that we live in a society which tells us to embrace the wants and desires of our hearts. "As long as it's not hurting anyone, why not enjoy it?"
Nice philosophy in some regards, but what if it is hurting yourself? What if your addiction is effecting your family and friends and you are too stubborn to notice? What if your addiction has mastered you so that it holds your thoughts and heart more than anything else? What if you are being mastered by your desires and are enslaved to them?
The ancient thinkers believed and taught that if you truly wanted happiness and joy in your life, you should not be self indulgent. You must master your cravings. You must not let your cravings and addictions control you. You should strive to know yourself as deeply as possible so that you could understand why you do what you do--and then not allow anything to control what you do.
The problem with their thinking was: your heart always gets captured by something. There's always an addiction out there trying to weasel its way into your being, and our hearts are easily ensnared.
Which is why, in the Christian tradition, self-control is a spiritual gift. It is something given by God to those who follow Him. For the Christian's heart is not captured by earthly desires and wants; the Christian's heart is captured by Jesus Christ. The Christian's heart ultimately longs for Jesus, and this ultimate desire displaces all other desires.
Does that mean addictions no longer have an effect on us? No. They still try to weasel their way in. It's only 8:30 in the morning, and I am incessantly curious about my Empires and Puzzles status. I'd love to pull it up on my tablet and check it out.
But does it control me?
Or do I have the gift of self-control?
"Daddy, are you addicted to that game?"
"Yes, I am. But I will not be mastered by it. It will not capture my heart. That belongs to Jesus. And I will walk away from this game because you challenged me. This game is not more important than Jesus or than teaching you that you do not need to let such things have mastery over you."
I hope he learns that lesson.
