Satan: Now, wait a minute here. Did I just hear you right? Did I just hear you indicate that the scientific method actually helps YOU?!
God: Yes, you did.
Satan: Impossible. That simply cannot happen. I mean, I intended this for evil purposes. I intended it to be a mighty weapon to render you obsolete to any "thinking" person. The Age of Reason was supposed to get humankind focused on itself and remove you from the picture. How is this possible?
God: All these years, and you still don't get how I work?!
Satan: What's that supposed to mean?
God: All of these hair-brained schemes you cook up supposedly lead people away from me.
Satan: Well, they do.
God: For a time, yes. For a time, you always seem to have the upper hand. But you forget my promises to humankind. You forget I pledged to turn their mourning into dancing. Putting it another way, I promise to unmake the evil you make.
Satan: Jerk. Can't you just leave me alone?
God: I could ask the same question.
Satan: Quick with the retorts, aren't we? But how in the world did you turn such things around? I mean, I thought I had you with this one. There was no way you could enter into the picture with science and reason. They aren't capable of dealing with you in the first place. I rigged them so that they could only deal with things that could be measured and duplicated. I figured people would become so enamored with measuring and duplicating that they'd forget there were things incapable of being measured, incapable of being reproduced. I figured they would become so enamored with the things they were discovering and thinking through logically, that they wouldn't give you a second thought. And by God, it was working.
God: And by me, the universe was created. It was inevitable that they begin discovering clues to my existence throughout the universe as they measured it and experimented in it.
Satan: Not possible. You can't be measured! You are beyond the universe!
God: Yes, but my work is measurable, and there are more than a few hints that I had a hand in the construction of this universe.
Satan: But...but...but...the Big Bang! Boom. Everything was condensed down to a tiny speck, and then it started expanding. There's no need for you!
God: Where do you think that speck came from? Out of nothing? How can nothing produce something? And what was the first thing that erupted in the universe as it started expanding? Here's a hint, "Let there be light!"
Satan: And there was light. Yes, I know how the story goes. How in the world that writer those thousands of years ago got that right, I will never know.
God: *sigh* Still don't believe in divine inspiration, I see.
Satan: But that's just one thing. That can't be the only clue they've discovered.
God: No. They've discovered a whole host of things: physical constants that if they were just a shade off would have led the universe to collapse or expand too quickly; there's almost two dozen of those. They've had to wrestle with just how all of those constants ended up just right. They've also discovered they are in a very safe place in a perfectly located galaxy. They've found out they are in just the right spot in just the right solar system with protective planets and a protective moon to keep meteors from destroying them. They've discovered that the moon orbiting their planet once slammed into them making the earth's core molten and giving it a magnetic charge. This also caused plate tectonics which helped bring about and sustain life.
Satan: But I gave them Darwin! Who cares about all of this cosmological stuff! I produced the thought that they descended from apes!
God: Now, now, Father of Lies, don't get too excited. Those who really study evolution see my handiwork there as well. How else do you go billions of years with no life and then essentially have pond scum for another couple of billion years? And then how do you get from pond scum to complex, living, breathing life forms so quickly? Genetic mutation caused by radiation would have taken much, much longer than the earth has been in existence. There are those who know this and who know it well.
Satan: You fight dirty!
God: No. I fight for my creation. Think about everything you've thrown at it.
Satan: My arsenal is big: suffering, death, disease, destruction, jealousy, greed, hatred, factions, divisions, strife. I've used them well.
God: Yes, and a host of other things as well. Yet, despite all of these things, belief in Christ persists--even flourishes! According to evolution, if this belief were indeed needless, it would be vanishing from my creation, but it is not. It has withstood everything you have thrown at it. It has adapted. It has grown. It lives. This faith is an evolutionary marvel!
Satan: Stop! That hurts! La, la, la, la, la. I'm not listening!
God: But that's my M.O. No matter what you contrive, I am always around tweaking things here and there to promote a better outcome. I'm always working to bring about good after your evil and the evil you inspire. I'm always there working behind the scenes to bring love out of hate, generosity out of destruction, joy out of sadness, and so on and so forth. And even though the human spirit does have within it sin, it also has my image in there too. This is why you haven't been able to destroy faith through reason and science. I AM working in and through creation, and there are those with eyes who see.
Satan: I ought to just throttle you right here and now!
God: There's no need to talk like that. Don't make me speed up the inevitable. Don't make me put you completely under my foot just yet! I'm still not quite ready to go there now.
Satan: And why not? Why not just get it over with? Why not just make all things new, right now? Why continue to let me have free reign? Why continue to let me produce suffering? Why let me continue to drive people away from you and belief in you?
God: Because I will miss seeing compassion. I will miss seeing hope spring from despair. I will miss seeing love overcome hate. I will miss seeing cooperation overcome division. I will miss seeing my children growing up and maturing into the people I have called them to be. I do not keep this thing going for my sake. I keep it going for their sake. I love watching them grow.
Satan: You may enjoy watching them grow, but I will strive to keep them immature. I will strive to keep them angry. I will strive to keep them in despair. I will strive to keep them divided and hating one another.
God: That's your choice. Just remember, no matter how much you try to bring darkness, my light ALWAYS pierces through.