Tuesday, May 15, 2012

North Carolina, Gay Marriage, and How Tolerant are You, Really?

One of the big splash news stories, more because it causes controversy than anything else, that hit last week was North Carolina voters passing a measure banning gay marriage.  It was interesting watching the reaction in the blogosphere and on Facebook.  It was even predictable to an extent--same faces were saying the same things as usual.

I really don't want to delve too deeply into the issue of gay marriage in this post.  My congregation members know exactly where I stand on this issue and why.  I'm not going to rehash those things for a number of reasons mainly because when it comes to arguing the merits of such things, rational and civil discourse has generally been abandoned.  Most of the time folks are governed by their beliefs instead of any sort of factual stuff.  And whenever you try to engage entrenched beliefs...well, remember this sermon?

What interests me in this particular arena right now is the head scratching attitude of the extremists in the debate.  I personally see some blatant inconsistencies in what such folks say and then what they actually do in practice.  An example from both extremes will suffice to illustrate what I mean.

More than a few times, I have seen self-proclaimed Christians holding signs which say, "God hates fags!"  I've also heard such folks say some very derogatory things regarding homosexuals.  Such folks believe homosexual behavior is a sin and is condemned by God.  Granted, a plain reading of the Bible leads right to this conclusion, but a plain reading of the Bible also does not lead to the behavior exhibited by such people.  I mean, all one need do is look at the actions of Jesus who threw cultural expectations into the wind to eat and drink with sinners.  He did not condemn them, but, as exhibited in His encounter with the woman caught in adultery, He saved their lives, gave them forgiveness, and told them to sin no more.  More than a few Christians are more than willing to jump to the "go and sin no more" part without even attempting to do the first two steps.  Such inconsistency really, really bugs me.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I removed myself from a Facebook friendship upon the request of one of my classmates from high school.  After the North Carolina vote, she put as her status a request of her friends who didn't approve of homosexual marriage or those who hate gays and were ignorant of the nature of being gay to unfriend her.  Since I do not support gay marriage from a biblical point of view, I honored her request--not of my own volition, but because she demanded it.   I found it a bit head scratching that someone who was fighting for acceptance and tolerance of her child would be intolerant of other people's beliefs which are grounded in their religious understandings--even intolerant to the point of isolating herself from people who believed differently.  I found this to be extremely inconsistent, and it bugs me.

I have had to eat humble pie more than a few times in my life and in my career.  I have had inconsistencies pointed out in my belief and behavior.  Each time, I have been ashamed of what I have done and have worked to change either my belief or my behavior.  Such a thing is very difficult.  I have also come to realize and learn that no matter how much I try, there will always be an inconsistency somewhere in what I say I believe and what I do.  Some would call this sinful.  I know I do.  Such self-knowledge leads me towards humility, and God knows I often even struggle with being humble. 

Yet, such humility and self-knowledge has also led me to a place where I am comfortable being around people who hold differing beliefs than myself.  I can enjoy their friendship and their challenges when it comes to issues we don't agree on.  I may not change my belief, and the other may not change his or hers; yet, it matters not because of the terms of our relationship.  The relationship is more important than the difference in belief.

Unfortunately, in our society today, ideology more often than not severs relationships.  If someone doesn't agree with our stance, then banishment is in order.  There is not a willingness to accept the other person and allow God to work on him/her (or on us for that matter).  It's a shame really.  A poor witness to Christ, really.  And extremely intolerant and inconsistent.

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