I expressed my heart-felt thoughts about Valentine's Day last year:
http://countrypreacherscorner.blogspot.com/2011/02/valentines-day.html
A few things have changed since last year's post in regards to our family's routine, but I'm still not going to celebrate this holiday.
You see, I have this philosophy about family life and the relationships that I hold dear--I want to make sure the people I am closest to in my life know I love and care about them, and I practice this on a DAILY basis--especially with my wife and kids.
Here's a few things I want them to learn from how I treat them:
1. Show love EVERY day. I'm raising two little girls. When they find someone to spend the rest of their lives with, I hope and pray for a person that lets them know how special they are every day whether it's through hugs, kisses, flowers, cooking for them, unexpectedly doing the dishes or starting laundry, or telling them over and over again, "I love you." I want them to know that I love and care for them each day. Valentine's Day is just one more day of doing the same in my book.
2. Special treats aren't relegated to "special" days or holidays. Last Saturday, Dawna and I packed the kids up in our Yukon XL, and we headed north. All throughout the journey, the kids were asking where we were going. I replied, "It's a surprise." As we passed through Brenham and headed toward Navasota, my oldest exclaimed as she asked, "Are we going to the Brenham Airport?" I nodded my head yes as the kids shouted with glee. They love going there and watching the airplanes. No rhyme or reason for the special treat. Did it just because, and that's the way special things are to be handled in my book.
3. There is no need to spend money on someone to make them feel special. I know our economy runs on people's willingness to fork over cash, but things have gotten to the point of absurd. In fact, in some ways, I believe some would rather give things instead of something much more precious: time. I can't tell you how many things I've read about kids who had everything materially they could wish for, but they still ended up going down some very dark paths. One common theme in all the stories was the fact that parents and others spent no time with them. Whether it's cuddling with my wife before bed or taking the kids outside and watching them ride bikes or play on the playground, such things are much more important in my book than buying them candy, or cards, or stuffed animals or what have you.
4. Extraordinary love is shown through ordinary acts. Spare me the car commercials. Spare me the jewelery commercials. Spare me the hundred dollar bouquets of flowers. Such things may make some folks melt, and I'm O.K. with that, just don't expect such things from me. My love is poured into the ordinary things I do every day: helping the kids get dressed, buckling them into the car, kissing my wife and telling her, "I love you and be careful," as she drives the kids to school, working diligently at my job, cooking dinner each night since it's one of those things my wife dislikes, helping with homework, planting a garden, fixing toys, changing the oil in the cars, and all the hundreds of things I do around the house. I don't expect my wife to do anything special for me. Good Lord, she does enough already as it is: laundry, cleaning house, taking the kids to school, picking them up from the bus stop, doing the girls' hair, and hundreds of others tasks. We work together to do such things to provide a home, and we do it because we love one another. No other reason. When you stop and realize such things are done with great love, why bother with what the commercials say the day should be about?
5. Don't get caught up in commercialism or the pervasive culture. Perhaps I'm like Charlie Brown in "A Charlie Brown Christmas," but I really don't care. I prefer to do things my own way, and my way tends not to focus on commercialism or consumerism. My way tends to swim against the stream. It can be hard, but I find it much more rewarding. I'm hoping my family finds it to be the case as well.
6. And perhaps most importantly: Jesus said it best, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:13. This is love. Real love. I want my family to know this is in my heart. As I look at my wife and my children, I know deep within me, if by my death I can save any of them, then my life would be forfeit. I'd do it without hesitation. Put that on a Hallmark card. Wrap it around a diamond necklace. Bundle it up in a dozen roses and see what it looks like next to all that stuff. In my book, nothing can even come close to conveying the reality of Jesus' statement--nothing.
That's all for now. Bash away if you like. I'm stubborn. I'm a German. You won't change my mind.
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